Down at the base of the cliffs were heaps of surf-worn rocks or little sandy coves inlaid with pebbles as with ocean jewels; beyond lay the sea, shimmering and blue, and over it soared the gulls, their pinions flashing silvery in the sunlight.

'Isn't the sea wonderful?' said Anne..."

Anne of Green Gables - Ch. 5

....I love to float

I can float and drift for hours. My fingers are wrinkled when I finally, reluctantly, get out of the water. It is the most relaxing sensation - a wonderful weightless freedom - a sense of being held.

I taught swimming as a teenager and I remember one little boy who was very afraid of the water. He could not relax enough to float. It took the better part of a week, with lots of encouragement on my part and tears on his, but I finally established a trust with this little fellow. He knew that when I said I would not let him go that I really wouldn't - that I would wait until he was ready to try. We reached the stage where he allowed me to support his body in the water. I would kneel behind him, and he would lean back until his head rested on my shoulder. I would place my hands under his back until his feet would float up from the bottom of the pool. And all the time I talked - reassuring him that the water was doing most of the work and that I was really only balancing his body. It was a very exciting day when this brave little boy hesitantly gave me the nod to let go and he floated. There were cheers all around the pool and a very happy Dad watching from the side!

Floating, by its nature, requires a certain level of trust. If you are afraid, your body tenses, and you will sink. The hardest part of learning to swim is to let go of the fear, to believe that water can support you, just as it supports all the other swimmers, and then, to relax enough to give it a try. It requires surrender.

When I float I feel held. I am totally secure, relaxed and peaceful. I don't worry about whether I will suddenly sink. I know the nature of water. I know that by its very nature, it will support me.

I long to have that same trust in the Lord. I struggle though. I feel fearful at times - anxious - tense - even though His nature teaches me that I can trust Him for He is love. Yet I still wrestle with doubts each time I am faced with uncertainty and the unknown.

I read this question this morning and it stopped me in my devotional tracks -

Why are some people gripped by the wonder of a love and know that they are loved, or even cherished? Why do others have the impression that they are neglected?

Although I believe that I am deeply loved, my emotions sometimes reveal an inner conflict - I believe one thing and feel another. I know He is in control yet I sometimes feel anxious. I know that He is always with me yet I sometimes feel alone.

I believe that "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want" yet I must pray, "Lord let this be true for me. Let me know it - not just a head knowledge but a heart knowledge - a deep, intimate knowing that calms my fears, strengthens my faith and fills me with peace."

I will not be satisfied until I am fully aware, at every level of my being, that I am gripped by the wonder of Him whose nature is love. I am cherished by Him - I am His treasure, His inheritance and His reward.

Like floating, this kind of faith also requires surrender - a willingness to trust, relax, let go of my anxieties and fears when I can't touch bottom, even when the depths seem fathomless.

I will surrender and re-surrender…

I will never give up until I know I am always held, even in the depths of a sea of trouble.

I will surrender to Him who has promised that He will never leave me or forsake me. 1

I will surrender to Him who works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. 2

I will surrender to Him who says, “I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. 3

Many thanks to Debi D.!!

Randi is up to her tricks again...

It's Let's Get Real Monday---Bad Hair Day

If only I was up to speed in Blogger Playland, I'm sure I would have won this challenge HANDS DOWN!!

Yesterday, the heavens opened up - it poured and poured and poured!

I stayed after church, working on the worship slides.

Well, when I finally looked up from the computer, I was the only one left in the church.

I looked out into the parking lot....not a car in sight. Everyone had gone and left me behind.

And it was pouring - sopping - soaking - buckets and buckets - raining cats and dogs, as the proverbial saying goes.

I had to walk home. We live just across the road from the church, but by the time I got there, I was drenched! Believe me, I was a source of great amusement to everyone when I walked through the door.

But...

If only I had known about Randi's challenge I would have seized the moment and said, "Grab the camera and take a picture!"

Trust me - my family would have been astonished!!

This mom never gets a picture taken on a bad hair day. That's why there is none to post. If a bad hairdo is captured inadvertently on film, the evidence has been known to disappear....

I have had a long and turbulent history with my hair...

From the brushing of long, blonde, curly ringlets, (tears and tantrums)

To the bushy "I can't get a brush through it" teen years, (tears and tantrums)

To the "keep it short, I can't do anything with it” adult years. *sigh*

I'm sure I have purchased every straightening product on the market and applied it with unflagging optimism and foolish naiveté. And I have never been really pleased with the outcome.

*sigh*

Although Anne of Green Gables lifelong burden was hair colour rather than texture, I identify deeply with her in this depressing conversation with Marilla.

“… Did you ever know of anybody whose hair was red (replace red with curly and unruly) when she was young, but got to be another color (texture) when she grew up?"

"No, I don't know as I ever did," said Marilla mercilessly, "and I shouldn't think it likely to happen in your case either."

Anne sighed. (double sigh)

"Well, that is another hope gone. `My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes."

Although I have buried the hope of sleek, silky, smooth tresses and have reached an uneasy truce with my curly locks, those who know me well can tell when I am really feeling sick - I don't have the energy to make a "fuss" about my hair :)

So now you know why I am disappointed - I have missed my Golden Opportunity - a chance to let my hair finally work for me!

I'm disappointed... I mean it!! The courage to stand in front of a camera in natural bad hair state *shudder* could have been a turning point - a defining moment - a quantum leap in the quest to get real - really real...

oh well, maybe next time....

(but don't hold your breath)

Randi got ahead of me by posting this picture – I think he might do for my understudy!

In lieu of a personal picture, I submit this entry into Randi's Get Real Bad Hair Day Challenge. This kitty does not look as wet or bedraggled as I was yesterday, but her expression is a perfect facsimile.

One of my favourite places is Victoria Row, a street tucked in behind historic Province House and the Confederation Centre in the downtown. It was once the market centre of the city but it was destroyed by fires that swept through the commercial district in 1866 and 1884. The street was rebuilt in Victorian style with lovely brownstone buildings, wrought iron lampposts and paved with cobble-stones.

In the summertime, the street is opened as a pedestrian mall. It is next door to the Confederation Centre Library so that may explain why I am a frequent visitor. I like to sit in the outdoor cafes, read a book, go out for a bite to eat with friends, listen to live music, shop in one of the Island craft-stores or just people-watch. A perfect place to while away a summer afternoon...

Try the quiz here

Anne of Green Gables - Ch. 8
Photo Credits - Aaron Hardcourt